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The way I understand it, neither is "better," so to speak. BUT, it seems as if more people use EMS rather than XMS in their games. Is this because EMS is more compatible? Faster? Easier? or what?

Use XMS 2.0. It's the most compatible. EMS gives you a 64K pageframe, which is nice, but on some systems it's nearly impossible to get working. XMS 3.0 allows you to use 64 MB+, but NT/2K/XP don't support 3.0 functions. I've yet to see a QB game that needed more than 64 MB anyway.

Speed is debatable.

I use EMS for my off-screen buffer, and XMS for data like sprites, BMP's, etc