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As a newcomer, I see many in this group have a keen sense of humour. As the custodian of some 30 years of the HASTINGS (UK) ELECTRONICS AND RADIO CUB monthly magazines, I have many articles or both humorous and semi technical nature, such as below.. But if the Administrators prefer me not to take up the space by posting these say twice a week, please let me know, as I will not be offended.

MURPHYS LAW

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Leakproof seals WILL.
Selstarters WILL NOT.
Interchangeable parts WON’T.
There is always one more bug.
Nature is a Mother.
Don’t mess about with Mrs. Murphy
90% of everything is c***.
If you’re feeling good, don’t worry, you’ll get over it.
All warranties expire on payment of invoice.
Where you stand on an issue depends where you sit.
Never eat prunes when you are famished.
Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it.
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
You will always find something in the last place you look.
The chance of bread falling buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
No matter how hard you shop for an item, after you have bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
No one’s Life, Liberty or Property are safe while parliament is in session.
The other queue always moves faster.
In order to get a loan you must first prove you don’t need it.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.
If you fool around with something long enough you will foul it up.
A Sop chip will protect a lOp fuse by blowing first.
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needs replacing anyway.
Any tool dropped while repairing the car will roll to the exact centre.

A somewhat jaundiced view of life supplied, but not written, by Derek G4KMJ. I am sure you will write in and add your own Rules for Life, I’ll start the ball rolling with one of mine..

Why does buying something new always mean two trips to the shop these days ? Once to buy it and once to get it put right.

October 1998

Dude, Murphy's Law is ancient... It's hardly funny anymore after one has seen it a bazillion times. It was good the first time around, at least.

I never heard them all b4,. , I thought it was right funny.. But Jeep also brought it back up too in one of their ads not to long ago, pitching If anything goes wrong in life, the Jeep would get you thru it...

So far with my Jeep, if I drop a wrench, it falls were I can reach it, so I guess they were right,. even tho the Jeep is as old as me,. :wink: Cept if you ride with me out in my feild it might bring up your lunch,. :barf: , my capet is all messed up ne way.. :rotfl:

Perhaps this is more like the type of humour wanted, but I will try all sorts.

THE DRINKERS FAULT FINDING GUIDE
Symptom : Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is vet.
Fault : Mouth out open when drinking or glass being applied to wrong part of face.
Solution :Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is perfect.

Symptom rinking fails to give satisfaction and taste Beer unusual pale and clear.
Fault :Glass is empty.
Solution :Find someone who will buy you another pint.

Symptom :Feet cold and wet.
Fault :Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Solution :Turn glass so that open end is pointing at ceiling.

Symptom :Feet warn and wet.
Fault :Loss of self control.
Solution :Go and stood beside nearest dog. After a while complain to to owner about its lack
of house training.

Symptom :Bar blurred.
Fault :You are looking through the bottom of your empty glass.
Solution :Find someone who will buy you another Pint.

Symptom :Bar swaying.
Fault :Air turbulence unusually high, maybe due to darts mach it progress.
Solution :Insert broom handle down back of jacket.

Symptom :Bar moving.
Fault :You are being carried out.
Solution :Find out if you are being taken to another bar — if not complain loudly that you are
being Hi – jacked

Symptom :The opposite wall is covered with ceiling tiles and has a fluorescent strip across it.
Fault :You have fallen over backwards.
Solution :If glass is still full, and no one is standing an your drink inn area, stay put. If not,
get someone to lift you up and lash you to the bar.

Symptom :Everything bus gone dim, and you have a mouth full of teeth and dog-ends.
Fault :You have fallen over forwards.
Solution :Same as for falling over buckwards.
.
Symptom :You have woken up to find your bed cold, hard and wet. You cannot see your
bedroom walls or ceiling. Fault :You have spent the night in the gutter.
Solution :Check your watch to see if it is opening time, if not treat yourself to a lie in.

Symptom :Everything has gone dim.
Fault :The pub is closing.
Solution ANIC !!!!!

November 1991

Quote:You will always find something in the last place you look.

This one always cracked me up, not from the obviousness of the phrase but from the stupidity. Of course it's always in the last place you look, coz once you find it, you stop looking for it! :lol: Once you find something you're looking for, you don't go "hey I found it but I'm not yet satisfied so I'm gonna keep looking for it" :rotfl:

Murphy was an optimist.

Quote:

GordonSweet Wrote:You will always find something in the last place you look.

This one always cracked me up, not from the obviousness of the phrase but from the stupidity. Of course it's always in the last place you look, coz once you find it, you stop looking for it! :lol: Once you find something you're looking for, you don't go "hey I found it but I'm not yet satisfied so I'm gonna keep looking for it" :rotfl:

"Honey, did you find your wallete?!"
"Yeah, but i'm still lookin for it!"

Quote:

GordonSweet Wrote:You will always find something in the last place you look.

This one always cracked me up, not from the obviousness of the phrase but from the stupidity. Of course it's always in the last place you look, coz once you find it, you stop looking for it! :lol: Once you find something you're looking for, you don't go "hey I found it but I'm not yet satisfied so I'm gonna keep looking for it" :rotfl:

I'd like to say that one day, i flet like disproving this fact, and continued looking for a book after i found it....i thought it was classy

Oz~

Quote:Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.

:???: I've past thru several friends, and as far as I know I only have 1 enemy... :lol: Hows that fit? :roll: :wink:

Quote:

adosorken Wrote:

GordonSweet Wrote:You will always find something in the last place you look.

This one always cracked me up, not from the obviousness of the phrase but from the stupidity. Of course it's always in the last place you look, coz once you find it, you stop looking for it! Once you find something you're looking for, you don't go "hey I found it but I'm not yet satisfied so I'm gonna keep looking for it"

"Honey, did you find your wallete?!"
"Yeah, but i'm still lookin for it!"

Heh Heh,.. I fond these post but I'm still looking for 'em..

Quote:Dude, Murphy's Law is ancient... It's hardly funny anymore after one has seen it a bazillion times. It was good the first time around, at least.

Hey, DrV, give Gordon a break. Yes the original Murphy's Law of "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong" is ancient, but most of his other quips are pretty funny.

How about: "Code in haste, debug at leasure", a take off on "Speak in haste, repent at leasure". Being a programmer, I like it --- especially since I made it up. :wink:
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