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Argh, how can I enable EMS in WinXP so that I can use DirectQB or any other library that needs EMS (like CosmoX)?

Simple.
Open the proporties window for your shortcut, select the tab memory and there you go
Everything should be set to automatic here

Look for a file called _default.pif and change the setings there.

I have already tried it, but the programs say they can't find the Expanded Memory Manager.