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me: sorta....

Code:
option explicit

dim as string i

dim as integer x,y,c,d,n,p

randomize timer

screen 18,32,,1

x=rnd*640:y=rnd*640

d=rnd*4

c=rgb(rnd*255,rnd*255,rnd*255)

do

  i=inkey$

  if int(rnd+.01) then d=(d+int(rnd*4) and 3)

  select case d

    case 0: x+=1

    case 1: y+=1

    case 2: x-=1

    case 3: y-=1

  end select

  if x>=640 then x=0

  if x<0 then x=639

  if y>=480 then y=0

  if y<0 then y=479

  if point(x,y)>c and p>1024 and int(rnd+.01) then

    circle(x,y),16,rgb(127,127,127)

    locate iif(y\16+2>29,29,y\16+2),iif(x\8+2>80-13,80-13,x\8+2)  

    print "Took a photo."

    p=0

  end if

  p+=1

  pset(x,y),c

  if int(rnd+.001) then

    for n=0 to 255

      c=rgb(rnd*255,rnd*255,rnd*255)

      pset(x+int(rnd*16)-int(rnd*16),y+int(rnd*16)-int(rnd*16)),c

      sleep 1

    next  

    d=rnd*4

    locate iif(y\16+2>29,29,y\16+2),iif(x\8+2>80-6,80-6,x\8+2)

    print "meh...";

  end if

  if int(rnd+.0005) then locate iif(y\16+2>29,29,y\16+2),iif(x\8+2>80-7,80-7,x\8+2):print "zzzZZzz":sleep 3000

  sleep 5

loop while i=""

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Man, I missed some funny stuff here!

All behold the ULTIMATE AAP TEXT FORMATTER by yours truly.

Code:
#define BBCODE 1

#define COLOURS 2

#define NORMAL 0

#define BEFORESENTENCE 1

#define BEFOREPARAGRAPH 2

#define RANDOMNESS 25

Dim Shared wordWrapLimit As Integer

Dim text As String

Dim ch As String

Dim whatToDo As Short

Dim state As Short

Dim m As String

Dim o As String

Dim i As Integer, multiUso As Integer, j As Integer

Dim action As Integer

wordWrapLimit = Width And &Hffff

Cls

Print "The AAP text formatter"

Print "======================"

Print

Print "Enter any text (post-long, please, remember that you are pretending to be AAP)"

Print "Press ENTER when you are done. Use # to start a new paragraph, i.e., the text:"

Print

Print "This is Paragraph 1.#This is Paragraph 2."

Print

Print "Consists on two different paragraphs. (Sorry, I'm too lazy to write a proper"

Print "editor."

Print

Line Input text

Print

Print "Now select output format:"

Print "  1.- BBCode, i.e. forum-ready"

Print "  2.- Screen colored output, to delight your senses"

Print

Do

    Locate ,1

    Print "1 or 2 please: ";

    Line Input ch

Loop While (ch <> "1" And ch <> "2")

whatToDo = Val (ch)

state = NORMAL

text = text + " "

For i = 1 To Len (text)

    m = Mid (text, i, 1)

    If m = "." Or m = "," Or m = ";" Then

        state = BEFORESENTENCE

    ElseIf m = "#" Then

        state = BEFOREPARAGRAPH

        m = ""

    End If

    If m = " " Then

        If 1 + Pos + Len (o) > wordWrapLimit Then Print

        action = Int (Rnd * RANDOMNESS) + 1

        Select Case action

            Case 0 To 2:

                multiUso = Int (Rnd * 6) + 1

                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then

                    Color multiUso

                Else

                    Select Case multiUso

                        Case 1

                            o = "[color=blue]" + o + "[/color]"

                        Case 2

                            o = "[color=red]" + o + "[/color]"

                        Case 3

                            o = "[color=cyan]" + o + "[/color]"

                        Case 4

                            o = "[color=green]" + o + "[/color]"

                        Case 5

                            o = "[color=magenta]" + o + "[/color]"

                        Case 6

                            o = "[color=yellow]" + o + "[/color]"

                    End Select

                End If

            Case 3:

                o = "___" + o + "___"

            Case 4:

                o = "*" + o + "*"

            Case 5:

                o = "^_^;; " + o

            Case 6:

                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then

                    Color 15

                Else

                    o = "[size=24]" + o + "[/size]"

                End If

            Case 7:

                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then

                    Color 15

                Else

                    o = "[b]" + o + "[/b]"

                End If

            Case 8:

                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then

                    Color 15

                Else

                    o = "[i]" + o + "[/i]"

                End If

            Case Else:

                Color 7

        End Select

        Print o; " ";

        o = ""

        If state = BEFORESENTENCE Then

            multiUso = Int (Rnd * RANDOMNESS / 2)

            Select Case multiUso

                Case 1:

                    If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then

                        Color 10

                        Print ";-) ";

                    Else

                        Print "[color=green][b][i];-)[/b][/i][/color] ";

                    End If

                Case 2:

                    Print ":D=b ";

                Case 3:

                    Print "d=:D=b ";

                Case 4:

                    Print "^o^ ";

                case 5:

                    Print ";)=b ";

                Case 6:

                    Print "d=:) ";

            End Select

        ElseIf state = BEFOREPARAGRAPH Then

            multiUso = Int (Rnd * RANDOMNESS / 8)

            If multiUso <= 1 Then

                multiUso = Int (Rnd * 5) + 5

                Print

                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then

                    Color 10

                Else

                    Print "[color=green][b][i]";

                End If

                For j = 1 To multiUso

                    Print ";-D ";

                Next j

                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then

                    Color 7

                Else

                    Print "[/i][/b][/color]"

                End If

                Print

            Else

                Print

                Print

            End If

        End If

        state = NORMAL

    Else

        o = o + m

    End If

Next i

Basicly you enter this:

Quote:Most dearest and worshipped fB/QB4.5/QB7.1/QBasic/VB/Ratass community:#This is just a test to see if this stupid engine works. I remember how, a couple of years ago, someone wondered if AAP did actually spend two hours writing one of his retina-burner BBCODE stravaganzas. I bet he didn't, he just used a proggie like this one.#This is full of bugs as I don't code in BASIC since I can't remember and I've done this in around 10 minutes... So enjoy#

just to get this:

Quote:Most dearest and worshipped fB/QB4.5/QB7.1/QBasic/VB/Ratass =b community:

;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D
This is just a test to see if this stupid engine *works.* I *remember* how, ;-) a *couple* ___of___ years ago, d= someone wondered if AAP did actually spend two hours writing one of his retina-burner BBCODE stravaganzas. I bet ___he___ ^_^;; didn't, he just used a proggie like this one.

This is full of bugs as I don't code in BASIC since I can't remember and ^_^;; I've done this in around 10 minutes... ^o^ So enjoy d==b
;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D

:lol:

I did something like that a while ago.

Code:
' Adiguns Review Maker v0.1

' Note, i *stole* this from Adiguns PC a while ago, so i guess he uses a more

' advanced version now.

#define GetRand(nmin,nmax) Int((nmax - nmin + 1) * rnd + nmin)

Function GetGoodAdj() As String

  Dim Adj(7) As String => {"AMAZING", "INCREDIBLE", "POWERFULL", _

                          "WONDERFULL", "REALLY GOOD", "AWESOME", "GREATEST"}

  Return Adj(GetRand(0, 6))

End Function

Dim As String AppName, AuthorName

Randomize Timer

Input "Project/App Name >", AppName

Input "Author           >", AuthorName

Print

Print "Ok!!!."

Print

Print "This is a " & GetGoodAdj & " review of the " & GetGoodAdj;

Print " program : " & AppName

Print 

Print "Before I even start, I must point out just how " & GetGoodAdj;

Print " this program REALLY is."

Print

Print "I must **'TRULY SAY'** this is the most " & GetGoodAdj;

Print " program I have ever seen."

Print

Print AuthorName & " must now be viewed as one of the TRUE pillars of the ";

Print " qb/fb qmmunity, and this is SURELY " & AuthorName & "'s MOST ";

Print GetGoodAdj & " work to date."

Print

Print "Given all of the excellent features and great optimizations that "; 

Print AuthorName & " has put into this, he did such an " & GetGoodAdj;

Print " job on his work of " & AppName & ", which joins the FB hall-of-fame ";

Print "as one of the most " & GetGoodAdj & " programs of 2006!!!"

Print

Print "Final Verdict : " & GetRand(8, 10) & "/10"

Print

Print "Until the next time, this is Adigun Azikiwe Polack, out!!! !"

Sleep

@Yetifoot and Na_th_an:

LMAO!!! ROFLMAO!!! HAHAHAH! *CAPITAL LETTERS*

This thread is breaking new ground.

Quote:This thread is breaking new ground.

indeed...though no one seems to get mine Sad

Quote:
cha0s Wrote:This thread is breaking new ground.
indeed...though no one seems to get mine

I suppose you... "Deleted" it? Smile

Quote:
Deleter Wrote:
cha0s Wrote:This thread is breaking new ground.
indeed...though no one seems to get mine
I suppose you... "Deleted" it?

"DrV's Humor", by Pritchard:

Code:
Declare Sub Get_Name

Declare Sub Print_Stuff

randomize timer

dim shared the_name as string

Print "Here's a DrV Program I made! It's based on an actual post, made by"

Print "The Actual DrV in an Actual Forum that Actually Exists"

Print "Where Actual People come in and talk about Actual things.."

sleep

cls

Print "Uh oh! The dishes just broke!"

sleep 230

Print "Let's find out Why!"

Print "Input: Why did the dishes break?"

sleep 830

?

Print "Program OutPut:    "

locate 5, 21

Get_Name

Print_Stuff

sleep

Sub Print_Stuff

select case the_name

    case "Cha0s"

        Print "Cha0s must have done something Chaotic to them! LOL!!!"

    case "Pritchard"

        Print "Pritchard must have made them prit*CHAR*d up!!! LOL!!!"

    case "Z!re"

        Print "Z!re must have set them on FIRE!!! LOL!!!"

    case "V1ctor"

        Print "The dishes said THEY were Number 1! V*1*ctor said no way!!!! LOL!!!"

    case "Lillo"

        Print "Lillo set the dishes WAY LO!!! He stepped on them!! LOL!!!"

    case "D.J. Peters"

        Print "D.J. Peters told me the D.Ishes J.Umped off and died!! LOL!!!"

    case "Axipher"

        Print "Can you help me with my circle plz!? LOL! Axipher hit them with an AXE!!!"

    case "Pete"

        Print "Pete hit them with MEAT! LOL!!!"

    Case "Adigun A. Polack"

        Print "AdiGUN must have SHOT THEM!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Seph"

        Print "SEPH must have called the BLACK METEOR!! LOL!!!"

    Case "1000101"

        Print "100101: The dishes must have been ***2*** much for him!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Relsoft"

        Print "The dishes...REL they got too SOFT!! LOL!!"

    Case "Mambazo"

        Print "Mambazo must have went CRAZO!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Arenth"

        Print "ARENTh the dishes our least worry right now!? LOL!!!"

    Case "Yuri"

        Print "Yuri came and the dishes broke in a hurry!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "CoderJeff"

        Print "CoderJeff must have activated the BREAK SUB!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "StoneMonkey"

        Print "They were STONEMONKEY plates! They went BANANAS!! LOL!!!"

    Case "DrV"

        Print "I DRoVe them CRAZY!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "SSC"

        Print "I must have washed them with ((S)...uper (S)...ucky (C))...rap!! LOL!!!"

    Case "VirusScanner"

        Print "VirusScanner must have missed an update!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Ophelius"

        Print "Ophelius got mad and told the dishes, 'O FEEL THIS'!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Ryan"

        Print "Ryan told them to Run You Arse Nincompoop, and they did!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Lurah"

        Print "Lurah told them the LUnar RAging Hamster's coming, so they died!! LOL!!"

    Case "FragMeister"

        Print "FragMeister must have FRAGGED THEM!! LOL!!"

    Case "Thrawn"

        Print "Thrawn must have put them on a PRAWN!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Rudiger"

        Print "'RUn DIshes Go Eat Rum!', Rudiger said, and they did!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "SpeedBasic"

        Print "SpeedBasic must have made the dishes fall faster!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Tunginobi"

        Print "Tunginobi dropped the dishes cuz they weighed a TUN!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Dr. D"

        Print "Dr. D told them he's Dr. U r DeAd!!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "SotSvart"

        Print "SotSvart did something lol!!! WHO KNOWS!? LOL!!!"

    Case "MystikShadows"

        Print "I asked MystikShadows he said it was a mystery!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Vance"

        Print "Vance must have hit them with his LANCE!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Stormy"

        Print "Stormy said it was too windy, so they fell off!!! LOL!!"

    Case "RedCrab"

        Print "RedCrab must have been CRABBY and broke them!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Antoni"

        Print "Antoni lol!!! lol!!!  He Broke them!!!"

    Case "BlahBoyBang"

        Print "BlahBoyBang must have ended their life with a BANG!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Jofers"

        Print "I asked Jofers if he did it! He said 'Yuppers'!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "RDC"

        Print "RDC must stand for REMOTE DEATH CONTROL but for dishes!!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Imortis"

        Print "Imortis might be immortal, but he said the dishes aren't!! LOL!!!"

    Case "Deleter"

        Print "Deleter must have DELETED THEM!! LOL!!"

end select

End Sub

Sub Get_Name

Random_Number = Rnd * 39

if random_number = 0 then the_name = "Cha0s"

if random_number = 1 then the_name = "Pritchard"

if random_number = 2 then the_name = "Z!re"

if random_number = 3 then the_name = "V1ctor"

if random_number = 4 then the_name = "Lillo"

if random_number = 5 then the_name = "D.J. Peters"

if random_number = 6 then the_name = "Axipher"

if random_number = 7 then the_name = "Pete"

if random_number = 8 then the_name = "Adigun A. Polack"

if random_number = 9 then the_name = "Seph"

if random_number = 10 then the_name = "1000101"

if random_number = 11 then the_name = "Relsoft"

if random_number = 12 then the_name = "Mambazo"

if random_number = 13 then the_name = "Arenth"

if random_number = 14 then the_name = "Yuri"

if random_number = 15 then the_name = "CoderJeff"

if random_number = 16 then the_name = "StoneMonkey"

if random_number = 17 then the_name = "DrV"

if random_number = 18 then the_name = "SSC"

if random_number = 19 then the_name = "VirusScanner"

if random_number = 20 then the_name = "Ophelius"

if random_number = 21 then the_name = "Ryan"

if random_number = 22 then the_name = "Lurah"

if random_number = 23 then the_name = "FragMeister"

if random_number = 24 then the_name = "Thrawn"

if random_number = 25 then the_name = "Rudiger"

if random_number = 26 then the_name = "SpeedBasic"

if random_number = 27 then the_name = "Tunginobi"

if random_number = 28 then the_name = "Dr. D"

if random_number = 29 then the_name = "SotSvart"

if random_number = 30 then the_name = "MystikShadows"

if random_number = 31 then the_name = "Vance"

if random_number = 32 then the_name = "Stormy"

if random_number = 33 then the_name = "RedCrab"

if random_number = 34 then the_name = "Antoni"

if random_number = 35 then the_name = "BlahBoyBang"

if random_number = 36 then the_name = "Jofers"

if random_number = 37 then the_name = "RDC"

if random_number = 38 then the_name = "Imortis"

if random_number = 39 then the_name = "Deleter"

End Sub

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

red_Marvin

Dr_Davenstein

na_th_an

yetifoot

Pritchard

Anonymous

Deleter

DrV

Deleter

Pritchard