Qbasicnews.com

Full Version: A World Inside My Head - A Poem
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
I lock myself inside my head,
A world created in my stead,
Where I am alone, Terrors have fled,
Where all your curses remain unsaid.

Where crimson fire doesn't burn,
Where painful lessons I do not learn,
Where age and pain does not turn,
To dust resting in ancient urn

You are the taint I could never miss,
As I fall and free myself, this is bliss,
World rushes by my side,
In the shadows I no longer hide.

I hope your happy as I lie,
As life rolls back and I die.
This is your fault and I hope it remains,
In your head for all your days.


I wrote this in English, we had to write a poem/song that described a sensative subject.

What do you think?
I think the last verse takes an abrupt turn that does not quite fit in with the preceding verses. You could have made it more consistent while retaining your sensative theme (which I am assuming to be introversion & suicide).
While it is a rather cliche-ridden emo poem, I have to admit I do like it and I like how it flows.
Quote:While it is a rather cliche-ridden emo poem, I have to admit I do like it and I like how it flows.

We had to pick a subject that was relate-able-to

So i picked Bully-ing and what it can cause (suicide). some people picked other things like Racism, drink-driving, stuff like that.
Ah, ok. With a reason behind the poem like that, It isnt so emo any more :p

GJ

Anonymous

Pretty kewl