Caution: Beware of Danger - Printable Version

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How The West Was Fucked

a novella by James Kinney

(no that doesnât make me gay.  The fact that itâs a novella attributes nothing to my sexual preference)



    Our story begins in western, I donât know, Wisconsin.  We see our hero consuming consumables at the local Waffle House.  This doesnât make much sense anyway because I doubt there is a Waffle House in western Wisconsin (for that matter, all of Wisconsin).  But for the sake of the story, letâs just pretend an almost exclusively southern restaurant just happens to be located in western Wisconsin.

    âThese consumables are deliciousâ mentioned our hero to the man working the counter.  The man nodded politely and winked suggestively.  Which is totally fucking ridiculous, cause heâs working at a waffle house as a waiter.  Who the hell does he think he is winking at our hero like that?  Youâd think he was trying to score some cheap blow or something with the way he smiled too.

    âCan I get you some more fixins?â  Who the fuck does this guy think he is?!  First of all itâs âfixingsâ, not âfixinsâ.  Second of all how dare he say anything after that questionable gesture of his eyelid?  âNo thanks, these consumables are horrible anyway.â  I guess you could say our hero lied in the beginning of the story when he said they were delicious.  This whole fucking story doesnât make any sense.



***Part 2***



    Our hero, scared emotionally and physically from the massive battle that took place moments ago, saddled up and began riding off into the sunset.  But something didnât sit right, he felt as if something had been missing ever since those 12 long years spent at war with those aliens that kind of looked like dinosaurs but not really.  Our hero pauses momentarily, and looks back for one last time to see his massive mechanical friend waving in the distance.  âGoodbye *M.I.K.E., Iâll never forget youâ¦â



*M.I.K.E. is a robot.