Compo: Wanna be a sweet MC? Showing off FB?

[SJ Zero]

First you've at least got to defeat me. 'cause if you want to be a sweet MC, representing FB, me is the one thing you don't want to be, see?

Welcome to the qbxl rap
it's gonna suck because I obviously can't rap.
If I could rap then I wouldn't be here.
I'd be out on the road, bleaching my hair,
trying to cover the fact that I obviously can't rhyme
perfect camoflage, I'd swear for a time,
Then like all shitty rappers I'd get hit by an itch
to fudge perfectly good lines so I can say bitch.
To end perfectly good and fine words with the suffix fitzuck
so I can just holler "The reason is fuck!"
And to be real I'll remind you right now
I haven't had poon tang I don't even know how
It doesn't matter much as I lack kisses,
because in a week I'll be smacking hos and bitches.
That's right welcome to the qbxl rap.
Don't say I didn't warn you it was crap.

Now it's time for the second part of the rap.
Don't think it's going to get any better, it's just crap.
This is the part where I talk about the mean streets,
the place where I grew up; where my family meets.
But I'm just being real with the facts I'm supplyin'
When I say there aren't really mean streets in Dryden
and even though I have no love for winnipeg
it's less mean than it is stoned burnt or dead.
And even in my apartment; murder over newyears
and I have to admit; grafitti artists ARE queers.
but I can't lie or I'll never get street cred
there was never a chance of me turning up dead
so in essence there was never a mean street
and thus the second part is complete.

Now it's the third part of the rap
These shitty rhymes are falling into my lap.
It's time to send out some greets;
to all the other rappers in the streets.
The problem right there is I remain white
and thinking with every particle of might
most rappers are black folks from the states, damn them
so I guess I'll have to send greets to eminem
and though I've never met the guy in real life
I'm pretty sure he didn't actually murder his life
but either way rapping about murder is dumb
but by mentioning that guy the third part of the rap is done.

We've arrives at the fourth part of the rap.
This is long; afterwards I'll take a nap.
Here I talk about how great I am
oh yeah, I'm the shit man
don't get in my way, 'cause I've got a gun.
Well, I don't, but I've seen one.
that cop never really took it out
but in second grade, guns were what it was all about.
and babe, I'm hitting bitches all night long
I've got AIDS and the clap embedded in my shlong
and I just hit off the bong,
and congress can't tell me rapping like this is wrong
because I was just joking all along
In the interests of the QBXL rap
which hasn't improved, it remains crap.

Now the final part of the rap.
I suppose after all this it's a wrap.
Now I get to whine about bush
because he really is a collosal douche.
fill out the demographic blank,
talk about ninjas while pirates walk the plank
I'm all about the anime scene
This whole thing is sponsored by dairy queen
Metallica told me that they rock
and Rush Limbaugh is really one to talk..
Kill two birds with one stone mentioning spock
and I'll get street cred by mentioning that drey doc
and this verse will be complete in a snap
thus completing the QBXL rap.

Remake the QBXL rap. MAke whatever changes to the lyrics you need to make it fit, make it in whatever style you want (even non-rap if you feel it works), and post the result. The best one will be known forever as the "better than QBXL rap rap"