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hehe, thanks for those catches radical racoon. like i said, it's just a start, and not revised either.
Quote:I get confused on this sentence. Effortless tries to dry his face? Did he succeed in drying his face? Or do you mean "useless" tries? Wasn't their a paper towel dispenser somewhere, since he used a paper towel to wipe his shirt?
I meant to say something along the lines of useless there 
Quote:I'm confused here too. Studdered isn't a word, is it? I guess you meant 'stuttered', but that dosen't make much since, unless you meant 'stumbled'?
This seemed to be an unfinished thought. i assume i meant to say: "The man stuttered in his walk and turned his head to the side.."
Quote:Besides that, it's a good start
Thanks 
the mind is a beautiful thing, use it and make the world a more beautiful place.
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Yep, definately looks good so far, as was already pointed out there are a few rough spots-- But like you said, it's not revised, so that's fine.
Interesting indeed, post more when you finish it! :wink:
Posts: 1,241
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Quote:Yep, definately looks good so far, as was already pointed out there are a few rough spots-- But like you said, it's not revised, so that's fine.
Interesting indeed, post more when you finish it! :wink:
awesome, i'll be sure to have the first chapter finished by the 4th. thanks for you compliments, and your story josiah (the one that was on TBN) is a very awesome story ineed :wink:
the mind is a beautiful thing, use it and make the world a more beautiful place.
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Anyways, I'm thinking about being an English Major, and I've been writing stuff pretty much all of my life. I wrote a "Novella" as well like three years ago in eighth grade that's about seventy pages long.... it's about a kid who gets sucked into his computer game which is actually a portal to another world, and there he has to save his "Parents," who are actually his adopted parents, but he doesn't find out right away, and his best friend is not who he seems, either. It's basically Fantasy with a little tiny bit of sci fi thrown in for kicks... By Fantasy I mean that he (The main character) fights demons with a sword and stuff, and his buddy uses magic and soforth. It was pretty good for me just being like 13 years old, I guess.
Last summer I wrote a 16 page short story entitled "The Adventures of Felicity the Sparrow and Gregory the Lawn Gnome." It was originially going to be entered in a scholarship contest that was about writing a sci-fi story (17,000 words or less), and so that's what it was, a mix of sci-fi and a little fantasy (animals that can talk.) But, eventually it ended up being a sort of romance novel, paralleling my dreams about what would happen if I would tell this one girl what I really thought about her...
If you want to read any of 'em you can email me
NovaProgramming@Gmail.com
ovaProgramming.
One night I had a dream where I was breaking balls. The next morning, BALLSBREAKER was born.
Quote: Excellent. Now you can have things without paying for them.
BALLSBREAKER 2
~-_-Status Report-_-~
Engine: 94%
Graphics: 95%
Sound: 100%
A Severe Error has crippled BB2 for the time being... I have to figure it out, but until then you won't see much of it  .
-----------------------------
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I stopped writing when I dropped English at GCSE. The last piece of coursework I did was this creative writing piece...it was a two page short story that used time and perspective fracturing. I was extremely proud of it...and I aced it grade-wise
Nowadays, I do improvised poetry. http://aetherfox.deviantart.com has three of my poems.
Every single piece of creative writing I have ever done (that includes lyrics, plots, game stories, short stories, english language creative writing coursework) has been done in one sitting. I don't believe in taking two sittings to do something creative. Hence, every poem that I do will be done in 5, mas 10 minutes, from concept to though to typing to finishing.
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I am currently writing a short story entitled Code: The Picayune Life of Lucas Delabouve
Where it's basically just this average kid who has a not-so average life. It's going to be the most randomest unreal things that I can think of all rolled into one. I don't know exactly what's going to happen in the story, but I know that in the end a space penguin becomes emperor of the world. Thus, it's probably going to go on and on, what with rips in space/time and global warfare, setting up a wordly dictatorship and what have you. Not sure quite yet. He's just going to school for now, a school that's frikin' insane. Yep. It's good though.
ovaProgramming.
One night I had a dream where I was breaking balls. The next morning, BALLSBREAKER was born.
Quote: Excellent. Now you can have things without paying for them.
BALLSBREAKER 2
~-_-Status Report-_-~
Engine: 94%
Graphics: 95%
Sound: 100%
A Severe Error has crippled BB2 for the time being... I have to figure it out, but until then you won't see much of it .
-----------------------------
Posts: 843
Threads: 60
Joined: Mar 2003
you're obsessed with penguins arent you
i try to write a story. but it turns out bad
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Quote:you're obsessed with penguins arent you
i try to write a story. but it turns out bad
I still want to read it.
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Joined: Dec 2002
I never said anything about penguins before, what would warrant me to be obsessed with them?
ovaProgramming.
One night I had a dream where I was breaking balls. The next morning, BALLSBREAKER was born.
Quote: Excellent. Now you can have things without paying for them.
BALLSBREAKER 2
~-_-Status Report-_-~
Engine: 94%
Graphics: 95%
Sound: 100%
A Severe Error has crippled BB2 for the time being... I have to figure it out, but until then you won't see much of it .
-----------------------------
Posts: 843
Threads: 60
Joined: Mar 2003
you want to read about 1.5 paragraphs thats seriously retarded compared to all the stories here.
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