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Die, Death, and Doom, a MANLY SHORT NOVEL by TheAdventMaster
#1
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- Death, Die, and Doom -
A MANLY SHORT NOVEL by TheAdventMaster (callsigns kick ass)

   There was this tough hardass dude, we called him "The Sin". Any time you did ANY bad shit at all this bitch became tougher. He kept our asses inline. The Sin wasn't always such a hardass though. He used to be just some dude, crawling his way up the ranks in the ghetto. Once had an idea to form a gang to help clear the neighborhood, but, we all know how that goes. Didn't want to turn into no Crips.

   He devised this cocktail ( a manly word god dammit ) we heard, some kinda new drug, that sensed what you've been up to. Sensed your fear of getting caught, the intensity of what you did last night, and the pain that you've caused others. Fuck yeah, did it all without a Degree too. Plain hardass. He used it to protect us when we was in trouble. Drive-by shootings and stabbings while trying to take out your garbage became a thing of the past.

   After a while this cocktail hit the streets. The people who were too big of pussies to deal with their lives needed a way to enforce their lame-ass controlling of the hood. If that cocktail could pump him up like a fucking hulk, then the gangs who are constantly around that kinda bad shit thought they'd own the world if they got a hold on it. They had no idea though what was about to hit.

   It takes morals to feel that kinda pain, that kinda sorrow, in other people ( feelin’ it in yourself means you're a whiney bitch ). These gangstas had no morals. They were the wrought and decay of society, but they went out on a full-scale attack on our town.

   3:00 am, C Block. Woke up at the sound of gunshots this morning. Outside plain in sight everyone was already gathered round. What in all holy fuck was going on bitches?! Cocktail creator shot, five rounds to the chest, 3 to the head. Lying on the ground, this bitch is dead (rhyming's manly fuckers).

   All the gangs stood round thinking the cocktail was bullshit. Didn't do nothing for them. They just laughed this all up. Waving their guns around and firing random shots at people's windows. Cops didn't do nothin, nor did anyone else. Their hero was gone and unlike the manly fucks of the neighborhood, these particular fucks (swearing more than you have to is manly, as are parenthesis) just stood there like nothing happened and they neighborhood was back to the rotted shit.

   However, this wouldn't last. No one takes that kinda shit. Never. They began to feel the pain of losing their hero, the fear of the gangs, everything, while the gangs just laughed it all up, feeling no thing but happiness.

      This is when it happened.

   Our Sin, THE SIN was born. That !Badass! got straight up and cried a manly tear. A very manly tear that was made of gasoline, car rubber, sweat, and nitroglycerin. The gang members stopped laughing and were scared as hell. This bitch, this sin was growing strong as fuck now. RUN RUN! He's too damn strong. We just killed the bitch and he's walking around again?! WAIT, NO! Too late hahahah! All your gangstas are dead.

   One kick to the head and the first gang member's legs exploded. A wave of The Sin's arm and off popped their heads. Jumped in the air risen like Jehovah's Witness, for real this bitch was no mormon, but an atom bomb in manly form.

   With his final dive to the ground, the sin exploded, and the gangstas vanished. Gone with the wind, The Sin's no longer seen, and the gangsters died, doomed, and saw death in their eyes.

   We know he's watching our asses though, as he kills the bitch who dares create him again. All in all, he was all the wretchedness and scum we piled up after all those years, or some kinda counter force or something like that. Point is he's badass.
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#2
I can almost feel the manliness pumping out of TheAdventMaster's left pinky finger, and it's overwhelming the faint odor of Mech's Novella....
ovaProgramming.

One night I had a dream where I was breaking balls. The next morning, BALLSBREAKER was born.

Quote: Excellent. Now you can have things without paying for them.

BALLSBREAKER 2
~-_-Status Report-_-~
Engine: 94%
Graphics: 95%
Sound: 100%
A Severe Error has crippled BB2 for the time being... I have to figure it out, but until then you won't see much of it Sad.
-----------------------------
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#3
Quote:One kick to the head and the first gang member's legs exploded
I first read that as The Sin kicking the gang member's head, whose legs promptly exploded. That would've made little enough sense to be even more manly.
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#4
Quote:I first read that as The Sin kicking the gang member's head, whose legs promptly exploded.
You read correctly. Well, you read what I was trying to say at least.
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#5
Quote:I can almost feel the manliness pumping out of TheAdventMaster's left pinky finger, and it's overwhelming the faint odor of Mech's Novella....

hey, i've got a series man. you can't beat that.
the mind is a beautiful thing, use it and make the world a more beautiful place.
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#6
Technically I once had a novella explained to me (by an english professor, no less) to be a story anywhere from 30 to 100 pages. Shorter than 30 was a "short story." I never understood it, all I know is the story that I wrote was 70 pages long, so I fit nicely into that sh*tty novella category, curse them all.
ovaProgramming.

One night I had a dream where I was breaking balls. The next morning, BALLSBREAKER was born.

Quote: Excellent. Now you can have things without paying for them.

BALLSBREAKER 2
~-_-Status Report-_-~
Engine: 94%
Graphics: 95%
Sound: 100%
A Severe Error has crippled BB2 for the time being... I have to figure it out, but until then you won't see much of it Sad.
-----------------------------
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#7
Let's start a literature site!
SCUMM (the band) on Myspace!
ComputerEmuzone Games Studio
underBASIC, homegrown musicians
[img]http://www.ojodepez-fanzine.net/almacen/yoghourtslover.png[/i
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#8
Quote:Let's start a literature site!
Good idea.
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