English in the EU - Printable Version

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English in the EU - Mango - 02-12-2004

I saw this a while back and though some of you may be interested. This should make it easier for we Americans to communicate with you Europeans. There should be no more confusion with the Kings English!!

"The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the EU
rather than German, which was the other possibility. As
part of her negotiations, Her Majesty's Government con-
ceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known
as 'Euro English'.

In the first year 'S' will replace the soft 'C'. Sertainly,
this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'C'
will be replased with the 'K'. This should klear up kon-
fusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year
when the troublesome 'PH' will be replased with 'F'. This
will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptance of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible. Government will enkorage the removal
of double letters, which have always been a deterant to
akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of the silent 'e' in the language is disgrasful, and they
should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'TH' with 'Z' and 'W' with 'V'. During ze fifz
yar, ze unesesary 'O' kan be dropd from vords kontaining
'OU' and similar changs vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yar, ve vi hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikutlis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech ozer."


English in the EU - oracle - 02-12-2004

Wait... isn't that just german accented english??? :rotfl:

English in the EU - whitetiger0990 - 02-12-2004

kindof sounds like those moles from RedWall

English in the EU - Zack - 02-12-2004

Why not just convert it to German, that's what it sounds like.
Reminds me of...Spencis, or something? That mixture of Spanish, German and English that someone cooked up?

English in the EU - red_Marvin - 02-12-2004

Lol I almostfind 1337sp33x more readable than that

English in the EU - toonski84 - 02-12-2004

awesome... good stuff. Where'd you get it?

English in the EU - TheBigBasicQ - 02-12-2004

That was wonderful! :rotfl:

English in the EU - KiZ - 02-12-2004

Hahah!! :rotfl: Brilliant stuff!

English in the EU - Agamemnus - 02-12-2004

Zer r som speling erors. Sekond to last paragraf:

Quote:After zis fifz [fif] yar, ve vi [vil] hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikutlis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer."

English in the EU - TheBigBasicQ - 02-12-2004

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: