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Make a program that is a person if they were coded!
#41
me: sorta....
Code:
option explicit
dim as string i
dim as integer x,y,c,d,n,p
randomize timer
screen 18,32,,1
x=rnd*640:y=rnd*640
d=rnd*4
c=rgb(rnd*255,rnd*255,rnd*255)
do
  i=inkey$
  if int(rnd+.01) then d=(d+int(rnd*4) and 3)
  select case d
    case 0: x+=1
    case 1: y+=1
    case 2: x-=1
    case 3: y-=1
  end select
  if x>=640 then x=0
  if x<0 then x=639
  if y>=480 then y=0
  if y<0 then y=479
  if point(x,y)>c and p>1024 and int(rnd+.01) then
    circle(x,y),16,rgb(127,127,127)
    locate iif(y\16+2>29,29,y\16+2),iif(x\8+2>80-13,80-13,x\8+2)  
    print "Took a photo."
    p=0
  end if
  p+=1
  pset(x,y),c
  if int(rnd+.001) then
    for n=0 to 255
      c=rgb(rnd*255,rnd*255,rnd*255)
      pset(x+int(rnd*16)-int(rnd*16),y+int(rnd*16)-int(rnd*16)),c
      sleep 1
    next  
    d=rnd*4
    locate iif(y\16+2>29,29,y\16+2),iif(x\8+2>80-6,80-6,x\8+2)
    print "meh...";
  end if
  if int(rnd+.0005) then locate iif(y\16+2>29,29,y\16+2),iif(x\8+2>80-7,80-7,x\8+2):print "zzzZZzz":sleep 3000
  sleep 5
loop while i=""
/post]
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#42
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Man, I missed some funny stuff here!
Reply
#43
All behold the ULTIMATE AAP TEXT FORMATTER by yours truly.

Code:
#define BBCODE 1
#define COLOURS 2

#define NORMAL 0
#define BEFORESENTENCE 1
#define BEFOREPARAGRAPH 2

#define RANDOMNESS 25

Dim Shared wordWrapLimit As Integer
Dim text As String
Dim ch As String
Dim whatToDo As Short
Dim state As Short
Dim m As String
Dim o As String
Dim i As Integer, multiUso As Integer, j As Integer
Dim action As Integer

wordWrapLimit = Width And &Hffff

Cls
Print "The AAP text formatter"
Print "======================"

Print
Print "Enter any text (post-long, please, remember that you are pretending to be AAP)"
Print "Press ENTER when you are done. Use # to start a new paragraph, i.e., the text:"
Print
Print "This is Paragraph 1.#This is Paragraph 2."
Print
Print "Consists on two different paragraphs. (Sorry, I'm too lazy to write a proper"
Print "editor."
Print

Line Input text

Print
Print "Now select output format:"
Print "  1.- BBCode, i.e. forum-ready"
Print "  2.- Screen colored output, to delight your senses"
Print

Do
    Locate ,1
    Print "1 or 2 please: ";
    Line Input ch
Loop While (ch <> "1" And ch <> "2")

whatToDo = Val (ch)

state = NORMAL

text = text + " "

For i = 1 To Len (text)

    m = Mid (text, i, 1)

    If m = "." Or m = "," Or m = ";" Then
        state = BEFORESENTENCE
    ElseIf m = "#" Then
        state = BEFOREPARAGRAPH
        m = ""
    End If

    If m = " " Then
        If 1 + Pos + Len (o) > wordWrapLimit Then Print

        action = Int (Rnd * RANDOMNESS) + 1

        Select Case action
            Case 0 To 2:
                multiUso = Int (Rnd * 6) + 1
                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then
                    Color multiUso
                Else
                    Select Case multiUso
                        Case 1
                            o = "[color=blue]" + o + "[/color]"
                        Case 2
                            o = "[color=red]" + o + "[/color]"
                        Case 3
                            o = "[color=cyan]" + o + "[/color]"
                        Case 4
                            o = "[color=green]" + o + "[/color]"
                        Case 5
                            o = "[color=magenta]" + o + "[/color]"
                        Case 6
                            o = "[color=yellow]" + o + "[/color]"
                    End Select
                End If
            Case 3:
                o = "___" + o + "___"
            Case 4:
                o = "*" + o + "*"
            Case 5:
                o = "^_^;; " + o
            Case 6:
                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then
                    Color 15
                Else
                    o = "[size=24]" + o + "[/size]"
                End If
            Case 7:
                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then
                    Color 15
                Else
                    o = "[b]" + o + "[/b]"
                End If
            Case 8:
                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then
                    Color 15
                Else
                    o = "[i]" + o + "[/i]"
                End If
            Case Else:
                Color 7
        End Select

        Print o; " ";
        o = ""

        If state = BEFORESENTENCE Then

            multiUso = Int (Rnd * RANDOMNESS / 2)

            Select Case multiUso
                Case 1:
                    If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then
                        Color 10
                        Print ";-) ";
                    Else
                        Print "[color=green][b][i];-)[/b][/i][/color] ";
                    End If
                Case 2:
                    Print ":D=b ";
                Case 3:
                    Print "d=:D=b ";
                Case 4:
                    Print "^o^ ";
                case 5:
                    Print ";)=b ";
                Case 6:
                    Print "d=:) ";
            End Select

        ElseIf state = BEFOREPARAGRAPH Then
            multiUso = Int (Rnd * RANDOMNESS / 8)
            If multiUso <= 1 Then
                multiUso = Int (Rnd * 5) + 5
                Print
                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then
                    Color 10
                Else
                    Print "[color=green][b][i]";
                End If

                For j = 1 To multiUso
                    Print ";-D ";
                Next j

                If whatToDo <> BBCODE Then
                    Color 7
                Else
                    Print "[/i][/b][/color]"
                End If
                Print
            Else
                Print
                Print
            End If
        End If

        state = NORMAL
    Else
        o = o + m
    End If

Next i

Basicly you enter this:

Quote:Most dearest and worshipped fB/QB4.5/QB7.1/QBasic/VB/Ratass community:#This is just a test to see if this stupid engine works. I remember how, a couple of years ago, someone wondered if AAP did actually spend two hours writing one of his retina-burner BBCODE stravaganzas. I bet he didn't, he just used a proggie like this one.#This is full of bugs as I don't code in BASIC since I can't remember and I've done this in around 10 minutes... So enjoy#

just to get this:

Quote:Most dearest and worshipped fB/QB4.5/QB7.1/QBasic/VB/Ratass Big Grin=b community:

;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D
This is just a test to see if this stupid engine *works.* I *remember* how, ;-) a *couple* ___of___ years ago, d=Smile someone wondered if AAP did actually spend two hours writing one of his retina-burner BBCODE stravaganzas. I bet ___he___ ^_^;; didn't, he just used a proggie like this one.

This is full of bugs as I don't code in BASIC since I can't remember and ^_^;; I've done this in around 10 minutes... ^o^ So enjoy d=Big Grin=b
;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D

:lol:
SCUMM (the band) on Myspace!
ComputerEmuzone Games Studio
underBASIC, homegrown musicians
[img]http://www.ojodepez-fanzine.net/almacen/yoghourtslover.png[/i
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#44
I did something like that a while ago.

Code:
' Adiguns Review Maker v0.1

' Note, i *stole* this from Adiguns PC a while ago, so i guess he uses a more
' advanced version now.

#define GetRand(nmin,nmax) Int((nmax - nmin + 1) * rnd + nmin)

Function GetGoodAdj() As String
  Dim Adj(7) As String => {"AMAZING", "INCREDIBLE", "POWERFULL", _
                          "WONDERFULL", "REALLY GOOD", "AWESOME", "GREATEST"}
  Return Adj(GetRand(0, 6))
End Function

Dim As String AppName, AuthorName

Randomize Timer

Input "Project/App Name >", AppName
Input "Author           >", AuthorName
Print
Print "Ok!!!."
Print
Print "This is a " & GetGoodAdj & " review of the " & GetGoodAdj;
Print " program : " & AppName
Print
Print "Before I even start, I must point out just how " & GetGoodAdj;
Print " this program REALLY is."
Print
Print "I must **'TRULY SAY'** this is the most " & GetGoodAdj;
Print " program I have ever seen."
Print
Print AuthorName & " must now be viewed as one of the TRUE pillars of the ";
Print " qb/fb qmmunity, and this is SURELY " & AuthorName & "'s MOST ";
Print GetGoodAdj & " work to date."
Print
Print "Given all of the excellent features and great optimizations that ";
Print AuthorName & " has put into this, he did such an " & GetGoodAdj;
Print " job on his work of " & AppName & ", which joins the FB hall-of-fame ";
Print "as one of the most " & GetGoodAdj & " programs of 2006!!!"
Print
Print "Final Verdict : " & GetRand(8, 10) & "/10"
Print
Print "Until the next time, this is Adigun Azikiwe Polack, out!!! !"

Sleep
EVEN MEN OF STEEL RUST.
[Image: chav.gif]
Reply
#45
@Yetifoot and Na_th_an:

LMAO!!! ROFLMAO!!! HAHAHAH! *CAPITAL LETTERS*
will Live Forever, or Die Trying >_<;;
Reply
#46
This thread is breaking new ground.
Reply
#47
Quote:This thread is breaking new ground.
indeed...though no one seems to get mine Sad
[Image: freebasic.png]
Reply
#48
Quote:
cha0s Wrote:This thread is breaking new ground.
indeed...though no one seems to get mine Sad
I suppose you... "Deleted" it? Smile
Reply
#49
Quote:
Deleter Wrote:
cha0s Wrote:This thread is breaking new ground.
indeed...though no one seems to get mine Sad
I suppose you... "Deleted" it? Smile
Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
[Image: freebasic.png]
Reply
#50
"DrV's Humor", by Pritchard:

Code:
Declare Sub Get_Name
Declare Sub Print_Stuff
randomize timer
dim shared the_name as string

Print "Here's a DrV Program I made! It's based on an actual post, made by"
Print "The Actual DrV in an Actual Forum that Actually Exists"
Print "Where Actual People come in and talk about Actual things.."
sleep
cls

Print "Uh oh! The dishes just broke!"
sleep 230
Print "Let's find out Why!"
Print "Input: Why did the dishes break?"
sleep 830
?
Print "Program OutPut:    "
locate 5, 21
Get_Name
Print_Stuff
sleep



Sub Print_Stuff
select case the_name
    case "Cha0s"
        Print "Cha0s must have done something Chaotic to them! LOL!!!"
    case "Pritchard"
        Print "Pritchard must have made them prit*CHAR*d up!!! LOL!!!"
    case "Z!re"
        Print "Z!re must have set them on FIRE!!! LOL!!!"
    case "V1ctor"
        Print "The dishes said THEY were Number 1! V*1*ctor said no way!!!! LOL!!!"
    case "Lillo"
        Print "Lillo set the dishes WAY LO!!! He stepped on them!! LOL!!!"
    case "D.J. Peters"
        Print "D.J. Peters told me the D.Ishes J.Umped off and died!! LOL!!!"
    case "Axipher"
        Print "Can you help me with my circle plz!? LOL! Axipher hit them with an AXE!!!"
    case "Pete"
        Print "Pete hit them with MEAT! LOL!!!"
    Case "Adigun A. Polack"
        Print "AdiGUN must have SHOT THEM!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Seph"
        Print "SEPH must have called the BLACK METEOR!! LOL!!!"
    Case "1000101"
        Print "100101: The dishes must have been ***2*** much for him!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Relsoft"
        Print "The dishes...REL they got too SOFT!! LOL!!"
    Case "Mambazo"
        Print "Mambazo must have went CRAZO!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Arenth"
        Print "ARENTh the dishes our least worry right now!? LOL!!!"
    Case "Yuri"
        Print "Yuri came and the dishes broke in a hurry!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "CoderJeff"
        Print "CoderJeff must have activated the BREAK SUB!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "StoneMonkey"
        Print "They were STONEMONKEY plates! They went BANANAS!! LOL!!!"
    Case "DrV"
        Print "I DRoVe them CRAZY!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "SSC"
        Print "I must have washed them with ((S)...uper (S)...ucky (C))...rap!! LOL!!!"
    Case "VirusScanner"
        Print "VirusScanner must have missed an update!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Ophelius"
        Print "Ophelius got mad and told the dishes, 'O FEEL THIS'!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Ryan"
        Print "Ryan told them to Run You Arse Nincompoop, and they did!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Lurah"
        Print "Lurah told them the LUnar RAging Hamster's coming, so they died!! LOL!!"
    Case "FragMeister"
        Print "FragMeister must have FRAGGED THEM!! LOL!!"
    Case "Thrawn"
        Print "Thrawn must have put them on a PRAWN!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Rudiger"
        Print "'RUn DIshes Go Eat Rum!', Rudiger said, and they did!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "SpeedBasic"
        Print "SpeedBasic must have made the dishes fall faster!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Tunginobi"
        Print "Tunginobi dropped the dishes cuz they weighed a TUN!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Dr. D"
        Print "Dr. D told them he's Dr. U r DeAd!!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "SotSvart"
        Print "SotSvart did something lol!!! WHO KNOWS!? LOL!!!"
    Case "MystikShadows"
        Print "I asked MystikShadows he said it was a mystery!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Vance"
        Print "Vance must have hit them with his LANCE!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Stormy"
        Print "Stormy said it was too windy, so they fell off!!! LOL!!"
    Case "RedCrab"
        Print "RedCrab must have been CRABBY and broke them!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Antoni"
        Print "Antoni lol!!! lol!!!  He Broke them!!!"
    Case "BlahBoyBang"
        Print "BlahBoyBang must have ended their life with a BANG!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Jofers"
        Print "I asked Jofers if he did it! He said 'Yuppers'!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "RDC"
        Print "RDC must stand for REMOTE DEATH CONTROL but for dishes!!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Imortis"
        Print "Imortis might be immortal, but he said the dishes aren't!! LOL!!!"
    Case "Deleter"
        Print "Deleter must have DELETED THEM!! LOL!!"
end select
End Sub



Sub Get_Name
Random_Number = Rnd * 39
if random_number = 0 then the_name = "Cha0s"
if random_number = 1 then the_name = "Pritchard"
if random_number = 2 then the_name = "Z!re"
if random_number = 3 then the_name = "V1ctor"
if random_number = 4 then the_name = "Lillo"
if random_number = 5 then the_name = "D.J. Peters"
if random_number = 6 then the_name = "Axipher"
if random_number = 7 then the_name = "Pete"
if random_number = 8 then the_name = "Adigun A. Polack"
if random_number = 9 then the_name = "Seph"
if random_number = 10 then the_name = "1000101"
if random_number = 11 then the_name = "Relsoft"
if random_number = 12 then the_name = "Mambazo"
if random_number = 13 then the_name = "Arenth"
if random_number = 14 then the_name = "Yuri"
if random_number = 15 then the_name = "CoderJeff"
if random_number = 16 then the_name = "StoneMonkey"
if random_number = 17 then the_name = "DrV"
if random_number = 18 then the_name = "SSC"
if random_number = 19 then the_name = "VirusScanner"
if random_number = 20 then the_name = "Ophelius"
if random_number = 21 then the_name = "Ryan"
if random_number = 22 then the_name = "Lurah"
if random_number = 23 then the_name = "FragMeister"
if random_number = 24 then the_name = "Thrawn"
if random_number = 25 then the_name = "Rudiger"
if random_number = 26 then the_name = "SpeedBasic"
if random_number = 27 then the_name = "Tunginobi"
if random_number = 28 then the_name = "Dr. D"
if random_number = 29 then the_name = "SotSvart"
if random_number = 30 then the_name = "MystikShadows"
if random_number = 31 then the_name = "Vance"
if random_number = 32 then the_name = "Stormy"
if random_number = 33 then the_name = "RedCrab"
if random_number = 34 then the_name = "Antoni"
if random_number = 35 then the_name = "BlahBoyBang"
if random_number = 36 then the_name = "Jofers"
if random_number = 37 then the_name = "RDC"
if random_number = 38 then the_name = "Imortis"
if random_number = 39 then the_name = "Deleter"
End Sub
will Live Forever, or Die Trying >_<;;
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