Quote:UltimateQB Wrote:Josiah Tobin Wrote:EDIT: UltimateQB, your name is Josiah as well?! Freaky. That's only the second person I've ever met who had that name (besides me).
Awesome. :wink:
lol, yep it is... I haven't been around here in a while, but as you can see (by the date registered on the left) I'm an old member. I haven't met too many other people named Josiah myself, pretty cool.
my moms friends sons name is josiah. cool huh? thats 3 josiahs
Offtopicity...but my brother's middle name is Josiah...
Well I no longer have internet. I had to beg Nikki to let me come on here. So see yas I guess. I'm so lonely.
This is Nikki. Two days ago Steven beat me. He punched me, kicked me choked me, pinched me, and pulled my hair. He used to be the best person alive but needs couseling. He just gets so angrey that he doesn't know what to do. He was upset so he hit me because when he is in that frame of mind he just wants to hurt himself and he knows that when I hurt he feels worse. Then today in the parking lot of K mart he tryed to rip my pocketbook off of my neck. He just grabbed it and kept yanking. Then I told him I was going to call the cops after he grabbed me and tryed to pull me out of the car. When I got my phone he took it from me and threw it across the parking lot. Then I took our son (which was in the car the whole time) and got out of the car. He then tryed to rip my pocket book from me again this time while I held the carseat with Danny in it. He couldn't get it so he dumped it out and I picked up my belongings and took Danny with me and sat on the sidewalk. Then I called his dad and his dad told him to give me the keys or he would call the cops. Neither of us called the cops. My guess is it was either an employee or someone who was in the parking lot when it happened. I drove away then turned aroung to get him. He was in a cop car and I told the cop that nothing happened so he wouldn't get in trouble. Now we are broken up because he doesn't want to "deal with my shit". I'm scared for him and will always love him. He needs help and because where not together he isn't going to get it now. I may come from two evils but I am the best thing that has ever happened to him. I gave him confidence and a son. Now he wants us both out of his life indefinutly. True I could have cuddled him and held him to reduce his anger but Honestly who wants to cuddle with someone who just ticked you off. He really is a great person and he is extreemly smart. He just needs to let go of the anger he carries with him.
You both need counseling, either seperately or as a couple. But you both need it.
Also women (girls) have this weird conception that because they gave a guy a son, they are the best thing that has happened to the guy and that that guy will stay with him forever because of that. Umm...doesnt work that way. If being seperate makes you both happier and avoids having the child see constant arguments, then that may be the best option. Also if you are truly scared for your life then call the cops and press charges. Say you dont want him to go to jail but to be sent to counselling. Look for help yourself, you cant help others (especially your child) when you cant even help yourself. I understand your problem but you're going about it the wrong way.
Seph. Nikki loves you, Nikki. Seph loves you. And I know you both love your son.
My advise? Stick with it. You both need counselling and it's a small price to pay if it gives your realtionship another go.
Trust me. I'm married to the most "nagging" wife in the world but I will stick to the marriage as long as I can because of my daughter and I love my wife.
Scenario last night: My sister's friend undressed in front of me but I didn't try to do something with her bacause I have a lot to loose.
Moral: Self-control.
Seph: Hitting Nikki is just plain stupid. Don't do it again. There is this thing we call "Displacement". Try to displace your anger on something that cannot be hurt. Like a table or play a fighting game.
Nikki: Loose the nagging. It would make matters worse.
The way I see it...Nikki is a major screw-up. She can whine and rant and LIE all she wants about what happened, but it's all garbage and anyone who thinks past their pecker can figure that out. If a woman can push a man to cross the line, then they don't need to be together. Period. And don't go thinking that it's all the man's fault, because it isn't. Women seem to have this blanket of protection on this subject, allowing them to do horrible things and get away with it. Well, I can see through that BS anytime, and I'm seeing through it now. She's a screwup, and if anyone needs counseling, it's HER.
With a "beating" like she described, she'd have one hell of a beaten up body. And were there witnesses? He'd be arrested on the spot. Why didn't it happen? Because it's bullshit. Again, it's easy for a woman to blow such things way out of proportion and get away with it. Women are experts at playing the victim. And society's still a sucker for it. Remember: women are weak! Or so says society...and so women are still victims! :barf:
Seph needs to get away from this friggin bimbo post-haste. There's a fine line between love and hate, and I think it's easy to see in this situation. They don't love each other. It's quite obvious that seph's love has turned to hate, and I can't blame him for it. Nikki sounds like the typical dependant coat-tail. If she was my woman, she'd be single in a hurry. A damn quick hurry. She's taken advantage of seph's family, and it's been awhile since I've seen a woman play the victim so bloody well but wow, she's got it down to a science.
Nikki, you might fool seph's family with your BS, but you don't fool me. Try harder.
The moment you figure out that you have unsolvable problems with the person you're with is the moment you should realize that they are not the one you're supposed to be with. You'll know when you've found the one you want to be with when you can solve every difference and overcome every obstacle together.
I agree with nek, but i still feel that both seph and you need counselling.
If you really love each other then you will do everything that is possible to make your relationship work :-?
Everyone could use some counseling at some point in their lives. The problem with this situation is that people have become complacent in the troubles and therefore have no way out except to walk away from the situation. I've been in this exact same situation (7 years of it, to be precise) and there is no other solution but to simply walk away and cut your losses. Both people will become better for it, and...wow! might even be able to raise the child normally. But staying together is going to make that child's life miserable, not to mention the lives of everyone else involved. Seph needs a woman who can understand him and can effectively deal with the problems he has. Nikki needs a man who's already experienced enough to handle this girl who's never grown up. The family needs to BACK THE HELL OFF. What's happening is between Seph (Steve?) and Nikki, not between Seph and Nikki + Seph's entire family. It's really pathetic that Seph's family would take the side of someone who's not their own flesh and blood. But I've said it before and I'll say it again...your family will be the first to give you a knife in the back, because they're the last you'd expect to do it.
Both Seph and Nikki need time apart, and time alone. When they've been able to heal from the wounds this relationship has caused them both, they can move on with their respective lives and find people that can complete them. However, they will never work together as a couple, and the sooner they figure that out, the sooner they can move on and be happy. They can easily raise the child together if they do it intelligently.
What's happening here isn't anything new in the world. People have been in this situation thousands of times. So like I said before, Seph...you're not alone. I'm sure that given the right amount of healing and the right company (not to mention a WHOLE LOT OF GROWING UP), Nikki has the potential of being a very happy and truly loving woman. Unfortunately, the chemistry between the two of you makes that impossible. It's no one's fault, it's just the facts of life. And besides...later in life Seph, you'll find the woman who you're meant to be with who won't give you problems you can't handle. Everyone does if they know how to mix listening to their heart and listening to the voice of logic and reason...
This again is Nikki. What I ment by I am the best thing that happened to him is that I gave him confidence. Before me he thought he wasn't worth anyones time. I let him know that he was and told him he was georgus and complimented him on everything he did. I talked to him for about 3 days before he said anything to me because he was so socially acward. He opened up and changed so much because of my influence in his life. I was one of his first true friends. That s what I ment.
Oh and he spent not even a whole day in his car with his guitar. He left at 5ish pm and waighted outside his grandfathers house for 4 hours and was home by midnight.
I agree we don't mesh well and neither me nor his dad called the cops on him. It was someone who saw what he was doing. The cops took him then i lied to the cops so he wouldn't go to jail. He doesn't need that.
Nothing gives him the right to hit me especially when I am holding his son. No one saw the other time becausse it was 11pm in our bedroom and I tryed to cry as quietly as possible. Oh and I do have may bruses on both of my arms.
I have tryed everything to help him and he has promused me many times he would go back into counciling and take the medacine he needs. He has yet to do any of that. He is an amazing person and just needs help. True, I probobly need counciling too and I will look into that when I have the $$.
Oh and if his family sides with me then maybe there is a side you guys aren't getting. Steven has the attitude that the whole world is out to get him. He said me and his dad were against him because we said he needed counciling and tryed to help him get into it. He refused.
Also just so you can get a better picture of his sanity he has cut his arm with keys all the way up to the elbow twice while he has been with me and once with his ex (well not exactly ex... because of a girl he liked). He has also cut himself with the keys in the wrist twice. He really needs help but refuses to even try it if he isn't with me. I am scared he will one day get upset enough and Kill himself. No one wants that. No one.
Also he has yet to even show remorse for what he did in the parking lot.
So where over but I think its best for the both of us or at least for the time being.
Also the reason we worked out for so long is because I did know how to handle him and help him but it got to the point where I knew he needed professional help. Thats about when the problems started. I could have done better by him but when your pregnant you r a head case. God bless him for putting up with me threw that.